


damn quotation marks

by HelloImOz



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Blow Jobs, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Hand Jobs, Keith is doing his best, M/M, Misunderstandings, i love hunk too just shoutout, i think there's a vine reference somewhere ??, idk i think i'm funny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-06-08 04:50:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15235725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelloImOz/pseuds/HelloImOz
Summary: "Alright, so they were 'dating.' Note the quotation marks."--Lance has a dumb idea on a mission and it haunts him forever.





	damn quotation marks

**Author's Note:**

> I'm posting this at 2am. That pretty much summarizes all of it.
> 
> I haven't proofread this and I have no apologies.
> 
> (If you know me (@ Anya) look away. Don't read this. I'm sorry.)

“Oh, shit, did you guys break up?” Lance immediately bolted straight up and checked himself. He noticed a tiny spittle of drool on his cheek. Gross. What was even grosser, though, was the weird panic bubbling in his chest when he looked over at Pidge.

“Uh, absolutely not! Haha!” Lance shouted uncomfortably, making Keith glance over from the other side of the room. It was pretty sad that just the spare second of eye contact made Lance’s heart beat faster. He grinned over at Keith, and the boy gave a quick twitch of the lips back. Aw, damn. That was fucking cute. Lance had to forcibly drag his eyes back to Pidge. “Why would we have broken up?”

They shrugged. “I don’t know, usually boyfriends don’t pine obviously from the other side of a room.” Lance bristled.

“I’m not pining!” he shouted out before he could help it. Pidge raised an eyebrow. Fuck, that was simultaneously cool and condescending. Time to backtrack, ol Lancey boy. “Um, obviously Keith’s busy over there. I didn’t want to disturb him.”

“You don’t care about disturbing Keith,” Pidge answered, even more perplexed. “You’ve been annoying the shit out of him since day one. The fact that you don’t want to get up and pester him logically leads me to the conclusion that you are resistant to talking to him, thus I believe the assumption that you’ve broken up is comprehensible.”

“Oh, yeah?” Lance challenged. “Well, then explain this!” He got up and strode confidently across the room, tapping Keith on the shoulder. When he turned to face Lance, without hesitation Lance pulled him in for a passionate kiss.

It only lasted a few seconds long, but Pidge was already wolf whistling by the end of it. As they pulled away, Keith shot his “boyfriend” a confused look, but didn’t comment on it, simply turning back to his conversation with Hunk, who looked absolutely rattled.

Lance whipped back around to Pidge, a grin wide on his face. “How was that, huh?” He laughed at the shit-eating grin on their face.  
“Yeah, I’d say you haven’t broken up.” Lance crossed the room to fist bump his younger friend.

\--  
Alright, so they were “dating.” Note the quotation marks.

Did that include making out, holding hands, and physical affection? Oh yeah. For sure. But, really, only in front of an audience. Because they were “dating.” With quotation marks.

Sometimes Lance thought about it until he got really sad, and then he would wander out into some public space and joke around with Hunk or Pidge, silently praying the whole time that Keith would walk in. Because if Keith walked in, well, then Lance would just be obligated to walk up and drape his arms dramatically around his neck, pulling him close and sneaking a kiss or two on his cheek, or maybe even on his mouth.

And while that was always some Good Shit, truly the best part of pretending to date Keith were the tiny, little smiles he blessed Lance with. After a sweet peck in the kitchen, a long kiss on the training deck, even just an embarrassingly mushy hug sent Keith’s lips into an upward curve. And god damn it, Lance just felt all gooey inside!

So yeah, basically, Lance was pathetically pining for the guy he was dating. 

“Dating.” Whatever. It was shit. Utter, absolute shit.

Some days Lance just wanted to march straight up to Keith and kiss the damn boy! And he had! He’d done that multiple times and Keith didn’t do anything! He just smiled his little smile and played right along with the boyfriend act. Lance didn’t want a fucking act!!!!!

He’s so fucking bitter that he even agreed to this nonsense plan in the first place. Or, rather, came up with it. And then talked Keith into it. Why the hell did he do that?  
Allura’s face popped into Lance’s mind. Oh, yeah. That’s why.

Once upon a stupid mission ago Lance and Keith were stranded on some alien planet, which, tragically, was pretty much a normal Tuesday for them. But on this planet the aliens were weirdly interested in the boys. Like, romantically interested. It was at the point where people (or, uh, creatures?) were swooning at Lance’s every breath.

Keith was not digging it. He quickly yanked Lance into a back alley as the two were making their way to the capitol building.

“This isn’t going to work,” he said all grim and serious. Lance pouted.

“Why not? I’m enjoying all this alien attention,” he smirked. Then he batted his eyelashes, pretending to flip his nonexistent long hair. “You’re just jealous you’re not getting all the focus for once.”

Keith did not look pleased. Or jealous, for that matter. Damn.

“No, Lance, I’m kind of too busy focusing on our mission.” He spoke with the manner of someone restraining from murder. Hm, interesting. “We need a plan to get all the attention off ourselves. We’re in big trouble if anyone realizes Voltron could be stopping in here.”

Oh, shit, yeah. They were on a mission to scope out the civilization. Stealth was needed. Yeah, okay, then maybe Lance could understand Keith’s weary frustration. He took a minute to think, but quickly realized the obvious course of action, jumping up with the excitement of it.

“I know!” Lance exclaimed. “We’ll pretend to date!”

Lance grinned at Keith, who just blinked. Just under his mullet, Keith’s ears were a rosey shade of pink.

“Lance,” he started, “what the fuck?”

“What? Why not? We just have to sell it and then everyone will just go away, right?” Secretly Lance was kind of hopeful that his half-assed plan made it past the drawing board. A whole day canoodling with Keith to sneak around an alien city? That sounded like the plotline of the coolest, most badass, outerspace, James Bond romcom!

To his shock, Keith sighed, but then resignedly nodded.

“Yeah,” he said. “Fine. We’ll do that.”

When the two walked out of the alleyway, Lance was already clinging onto his new “boyfriend”’s arm. Every single alien they saw looked the two up and down, before shrugging them off. Lance grinned at them all.

The mission was a success, thanks to their quality spy work and assessment of the culture on the planet. None of the Galra running the show had suspected Voltron’s attack at all. To be quite honest, even Keith and Lance were caught off guard.  
The two knew they were helping set the other three paladins up to ambush the Galra. They didn’t expect the ambush to be so sudden though. Sure, Lance and Keith quickly joined the action and helped form Voltron and all that other junk, but by the time the other paladins arrived, Keith and Lance were still acting.

Y’know, acting like boyfriends.

(More specifically, Lance was stealing a peck from his strong, masculine “boyfriend” with his arms wrapped around Keith’s neck.)

And really, it wasn’t that big of a deal. Except the second she saw them, Allura squealed loudly over the intercom. Damn. Pidge hooted and Hunk chuckled lightly. The team was obviously very, very excited to see the two together.

Keith and Lance ignored it at first in favor of ripping off their disguises and hopping into the black and red lions. All five paladins did their special little paladin shit, took down the enemy, saved the day, yada yada. The fight wasn’t especially amazing, no, the significant thing was what came after.

The five paladins were emerging from their lions and strutting into their common room to joke around and relax, as was the tradition. On nights after battles the paladins, despite their bodies craving rest, liked to sit together and joke into the wee hours of the night. Usually they might play games of Monsters & Mana™ or dare each other to do stupid shit.

But that night, the second Lance stepped into the room ready to relax, he was nearly barreled over by a very special princess. He fought hard to keep the blush off his face because holy shit pretty girl touching him! Pretty, smart, badass girl! Who was awesome!

Lance wrapped his arms back around Allura, fighting the strong urge to sniff her hair. Damn, it was soft as it brushed his face. Yeah, Lance could stay like that forever. He was basking in the moment of glorious embrace, but then Allura’s voice cut him out of his revelry.

“I’m so happy for you!” she shrieked into Lance’s shoulder. “It took you two long enough!”

Wait, what? Huh?

Lance still held Allura, albeit with more confusion, but still tried to enjoy her soft touch as Pidge and Hunk filed in. Pidge immediately ran over and pulled apart the hug.

“Dude!” they screamed. “Why didn’t you tell us it finally happened?! You and Keith actually got your shit together!” They then immediately turned to Allura and said,  
“Told you it’d be before my calendar ran out. Pay up.”

“Oh, curse you,” Allura muttered, digging around in her pockets for something.

Lance just stood there baffled because what the actual fuck was going on.  
Right when he thought it couldn’t get any weirder, Hunk seemed to be using the distraction of the other two to pull Lance aside. Once they were standing in relative privacy in the corner, Hunk smiled wide and genuinely. It reminded Lance of how much of an actual pure ass piece of treasure his best friend was. God, nobody could ever deserve Hunk. What a man.

Anyway, Hunk clapped Lance on the shoulder in a very heterosexual, bro manner. Then the two boys looked at each other and laughed. Lance pulled Hunk in for a hug about as passionate as his earlier moment with Allura.

“I’m proud of you,” Hunk whispered into Lance’s ear in the hug. “Good job getting him. If he ever breaks your heart, I’ll beat him up. Or, probably not, because he’s Keith, but I’ll, uh, poison his food.” Lance giggled, before realizing what Hunk was saying.

“Wait, but Hunk— “

“Ah, there he is! The other half!” Pidge screeched as a bewildered Keith walked into the room. Lance broke out of the hug and hated how fucking cute he found Keith when he was overwhelmed.

“Huh? Guys, what—“

Keith didn’t get to finish his sentence because Allura launched herself at him. Keith’s shouts were muffled by Allura’s magically beautiful and suffocating white, silky hair. Pidge bounced over to the duo, squacking some nonsense or another. Hunk laughed heartily from Lance’s side, and Lance found himself smiling, but still confused out of his fucking mind. It seemed Keith felt the same way.

The second Allura let go of him, Keith scuttled away to an unpopulated corner of the room like a cat being confronted with a water bottle.

“WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!” he shouted. Pidge merely raced after him, beginning a chase in circles through the room. As entertaining as the spectacle was, Lance really agreed with Keith and really, really wanted to know why everyone was treating them like they were—

Oh.

Oh shit.

They saw—

And.

Oh. Oh no.

“Keith!” Lance screamed over the madness. Pidge stopped in their tracks, leaving the red paladin to slide to a stop. “Can we have a word?” Lance could feel his face turning bright fucking red, thankfully mostly hidden by his complexion. Still, he was sure he waddled out into the hallway awkwardly, and Pidge wolf whistled at the couple as they stood alone outside the door.

The couple.

The “couple.”

Damn it all.

Lance took a deep breath, trying to maintain eye contact with the gorgeous, confounded man across from him. He was really fucking failing.

“Keith, they think we’re dating.” Lance could hear the sharp intake of breath and tried not to wince. When he opened his eyes again, Keith was giving Lance a look he had never seen before. Keith’s eyes were opened wide and his mouth was the smallest, puckered O shape. It looked like a fish was shitting itself, but Lance was too rattled to say so. He waited for Keith to speak.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Lance really didn’t know what to do. Then, a devious, awful plan formulated in his head. Before he could even consider the consequences, Lance said, “Keith, maybe we should give them what they want.”

Keith’s head jerked, like he was suddenly coming back into focus. He searched Lance’s eyes for a minute, before donning this tentative little grin and nodding.  
That moment, right then, was when Lance knew he was fucked. Or, more specifically, he had fucked himself over. But he had to pretend he hadn’t. For a lot of reasons. So, he took Keith’s hand and walked back into the room, facing an endless barrage of questions.

“When did it happen?” Pidge asked.

“Uh, two weeks ago,” Lance claimed, looking desperately at his partner. Shit, wait, “partner.” The quotation marks were important.

“How?” Allura asked, eyes full of wonder. Lance gulped. Keith squeezed his hand and answered that question.

And that’s how the night went, with the two switching off like mind readers. Lance enjoyed curling into his strong boyfriend’s arm. “Boyfriend’s.” Damn quotation marks.

Slowly, people had started to wander off to bed, eventually dwindling down to just Pidge, Keith, and Lance. The three were playing a round of bullshit, but Pidge ended up sweeping the floor with the other two’s asses. Piece of cunning little shit. Keith yawned as the game ended, standing and stretching out his arms.

“I think I’m gonna go to bed,” he explained. Pidge smirked and stood up.

“Uh, no, it’s okay. I’ll leave you two alone.” They giggled at Keith’s blush. But true to their word, they gathered all their cards and left the room within thirty seconds, stalling only just at the door. “Just don’t leave any stains!” A mysterious coughing fit came over Keith at that moment. Pidge cackled their way down the hallway.

Then it was only Keith and Lance.

You would think that faking a relationship with someone would make it easier to quell stomach butterflies around them, but you would also be wrong. Lance wanted to die every time he looked over at Keith. He wasn’t sure if he felt that in a good way or not.

“Uh, so,” Lance trailed off awkwardly. How are people supposed to talk to their fake boyfriend? Lance floundered. “How about that weather?”

“What weather?” Keith asked. Lance winced. Oh, right, no weather in space. There goes that small talk attempt.

“Yeah, I agree.” Keith shot Lance a bemused look but the second the two made eye contact, Keith turned bright red and his gaze flitted away. God, this situation was too awkward even for Keith. Keith’s entire fucking life was awkward. It was this bad?!

Lance felt bad, like he should do something to make this mess better. For some reason, the first thought that came to mind was to pick his butt up and move it right next to Keith. The proximity would, like, help them… get along…? Yeah! Perfect excuse to drape himself all over Hotty McBlushFace.

When Lance sat down, Keith leaned the opposite direction, directing his gaze anywhere else but his new seatmate. Lance could still see the hint of a blush marring the top of Keith’s left ear, but Keith pretended not to even notice him.  
Fucking rude. It was so rude, in fact, that Lance felt the bubbling need to grab Keith by the neck and pull him in for a hug. A hug. Keith didn’t seem to get the memo. Right as Lance’s face got close to Keith’s, Keith turned in and before Lance could figure out what the hell was happening, the two were kissing.

So, there he was, Keith Kogane on his tiddy. Or, more like his mouth. They were sucking face. All alone. In an empty room. Wow.

Lance immediately melted into the kiss and hoisted himself up onto Keith’s lap, tangling his hands in his boyfriend’s mullet. No, wait, “boyfriend!” Lance groaned internally.

Well, if Keith wanted to keep those goddamn quotation marks, then maybe he shouldn’t kiss Lance like they weren’t there. Like, really, nothing was there and it was only them two alone in the world, spinning time on their fingertips and dripping space like saliva from their lips. Damn Keith and his sexy makeout sessions.

Shit was getting heated real fast and Lance lost himself in the motion of their lips pressing against each other, mouths opening to slip tongues past each other’s lips. Their push and pull picked up a rhythm, each boy moving instinctively without a single breath of communication between them. Somehow, they just knew.  
Lance just knew Keith was the new center of his universe. Maybe that was the moment he was truly, utterly gone.

So, like any fucking rattled ass teenager, Lance pulled away. He yanked his face off of Keith’s and stared that beautiful half-alien in the eyes. They were clouded over and beautiful and endless and Lance had to get out.

“Haha, so that was wild!” he announced. Keith drew his eyebrows in confusion, but slowly a tiny smile lit up his face.

“Yeah,” Keith muttered, voice so quiet Lance wouldn’t have heard it from even ten inches away. “I guess you could say that.”

Oh, Jesus almighty, this boy was making him swoon. Abort abort abort—  
“Yeah, totally!” Lance shouted, a whole shit ton louder than Keith’s earlier words. To really emphasize how much mood-shattering-ness was going on, Lance hopped up off his “boyfriend’s” lap. “Well, it’s getting late, gotta go, bye!” And thus, he bolted.  
Just like that—one Tuesday stranded on a planet, one bad plan born of desperate pining, one misunderstanding between team members, one even worse plan born of even more desperate pining, and one sickeningly perfect makeout session—Lance’s life was ruined.

(Yeah, yeah, it wasn’t actually ruined. Just more complicated. And heartbreaking. And tragically, soul-crushingly close to what he wished it was. Yet Lance’s life was somehow even further from what he wanted it to be. Because, y’know, fuck.)

There wasn’t a day that went by where Lance didn’t sit and stare and hopelessly yearn for Keith like some Victorian maiden gazing out a window. Keith would’ve been the most devastatingly handsome stable boy, spending all days patting ponies and brushes fillies, but even in another lifetime like that, Lance would never be able to have him. So he would sigh and lean down into his arms, content to just stare from afar like it would somehow make everything better someday in the end.

The woes of an upper-class, old timey noblewoman shouldn’t be so goddamn relatable.

\--

One night Lance couldn’t sleep. The day had been long and tiring, the night even more so, but nothing could make his brain shut up or down. So he did what he normally did: crept out of his room, padding quietly down the hall until he reached the observation deck where he would watch the stars until his eyes couldn’t stay open any longer.

A lot of nights he was alone. A lot of nights he wasn’t.

The other paladins had figured out most of the hidden places in the castle (save a few of Lance’s favorite, secret haunts) and slowly started to make use of them just as Lance did. He would see Hunk in the pool, Allura in the sauna, and Pidge in the secret library. There was a mutual agreement to simply nod and shut the fuck up because every paladin needed alone time. Lance wouldn’t rob them of that.

However, the most irksome, infuriating, and exhilarating run-ins were always late at night, always on the observation deck, and always with Keith. Lance had noticed that he was out there most, if not every, night. The little shit never seemed to sleep.  
But it was pretty okay. Usually Lance would come out after Keith, plopping himself down on the other side of the room. Sometimes they’d sit in silence, watching plants spin and satellites blink. Stars would fall, cascading from one side of the universe to the other, really just ships going where they needed to be, but Lance was always a romanticist.

The universe was fucking huge and Lance was never really sure if he liked that or not. But those nights, when he sat fifteen feet from Keith and could hear their soft breaths, he decided he was okay with it. Because the universe would never change for him, so maybe he just had to find his place in it.

Sometimes, Lance and Keith would talk about it.

About the universe, about fake stars and romanticism, and the meaning of life and death. They’d talk about what being small felt like, and then joke about how huge they were when they came together to make Voltron. Lance would crack a joke about home, eventually giving way to his real fears and questions and by the third night this happens, Keith knows every single one of Lance’s siblings’ names.  
Those nights make him feel special.

Keith talks too, those nights, which makes Lance feel even more special. To meet Keith Kogane is striking, to hear him speak confounding, but to learn the inner workings and thoughts of Keith’s mind is the greatest blessing a single being could ever be given. Nothing in the world compares to that.

But that night. That fucking night. Lance honestly just wanted to sleep that one fucking night, but instead he had to stumble upon the usual emo insomniac, mucking up a perfectly good observation deck with his brooding.

(Keith wasn’t really brooding, he was just staring into space. Still. ‘Twas bullshit.)  
For some unknown reason, the sight of Keith alone on the deck, watching the stars with wonder, a serene expression on his face, well.

It pissed Lance right the hell off.

Lance didn’t know what he was doing. He had no idea why he was so infuriated, or why he had to barge up to Keith, muscles tense and raring for a fight. He didn’t know why he tapped Keith gently on the shoulder instead of pummeling him from behind. Lance wasn’t sure what his arms were doing, reaching out and grabbing the douchebag by the hair, pulling him close and—

Oh, shit, they were kissing again.

Well.

That makes some sense.

This was their second kiss without an audience. Their second time alone in the throes of passion, lips interlocked and the world on hold. It was weird and familiar, too familiar for something that had only happened once before. It was like Lance was wandering through a city he’d only vacationed at for three days, but still he could remember where each twist and turn led him.

He knew this. He knew Keith.

So Lance relaxed. They were kissing, and Keith liked it, judging by the way he wrapped his arms around Lance’s waist and gently lifted him into his lap. Keith really liked it if the soft pants and quiet moans were anything to go by. Lance moved his focus to Keith’s neck, slobbering all over the pale hunk of flesh, but, like, in a sexy way.

Keith moaned and damn. That was quite a noise. Lance took it as a sign to suck harder, biting down lightly into the skin and listening to Keith pant and whine under his mouth.

Keith started to pull his neck away and Lance had to forcibly stop himself from chasing after it. For a second he felt like he was free falling, his stomach bottoming out as he realized Keith must not want to kiss anymore. Why would he? They weren’t dating. Stupid Lance.

“Hey,” Keith whispered, pulling Lance’s attention back to his eyes. “Sit still.”

Lance was a bit puzzled, but wasn’t going to disobey a direct order. Was that weirdly pathetic? Probably, but, like, Keith was their leader so that was logical enough. Yeah. Lance wasn’t pathetic. Pfft.

Keith smirked and began to pull Lance’s shirt off his body. Lance complied eagerly, forgetting to repay the favor when Keith crawled down Lance’s body, leaving a trail of hot, wet kisses along the way. He stopped and lingered at the top of Lance’s pants, licking along his waist.

A fingerlessly-gloved hand crept its way up Lance’s thigh, brushing over his growing, uh... tool. Lance almost cringed at his thoughts— Really?? Tool?— but Keith’s emo ass signature accessory was adorning the milky white hand unzipping Lance’s pants. That took a bit of precedence.

Keith yanked down Lance’s pants and underwear in one go and suddenly, there Little Lance was, out and facing the world. Lance forgot how to breathe for a minute; shit suddenly felt real. He stared in a bit of panic as Keith, face to face with his freed junk, smiled devilishly and fluttered his eyes up to Lance’s.

They held eye contact for a beat, then Keith winked and dipped his head.

His mouth was on a piece of Lance that only one other person had touched before, and that was back at the Garrison in a dark room, so she didn’t really know what the fuck was going on and didn’t see its flushed, rosy tip and the little stubs of hair growing back after the last time Lance had shaved and it wasn’t this intimate and holy shit what the fuck, man, they weren’t dating, this was all a ruse what the FUCK--

Keith ran his tongue around the head, making Lance’s other head spin. He bobbed his head, sucking on the way down.

“Oh my god,” Lance whispered. “Oh my fucking god.” He felt, rather than heard, the giggle Keith let out.

“Am I really that good?” Keith murmured, hands wrapping around Lance’s dick as he nosed at it.

“God, anything you do is good,” Lance responded, voice getting more frantic as Keith picked up the pace, “Excellent, even! You’re fucking perfect! I don’t know how you do it!”

“I could get used to this,” Keith muttered. He then put all his energy back into the blowjob, dipping his head down and swallowing all of Lance in one go. The Blue Paladin tangled his hands in the surprisingly soft mullet beneath him.

“Ah! Keep going, holy shit,” Lance panted. “You’re doing so well, oh my fucking god! Keep going, baby, oh—“

Keith hummed, sending vibrations straight to Lance’s core. He let out a loud moan, gripping Keith’s hair even tighter and trying to stutter out some sort of warning. It was never cool to jizz in someone’s mouth without warning.

“Keith, I’m—“

Quietly, Keith reached his hand up and placed it on top Lance’s, grabbing his fingers with steady determination. Lance was still furiously attempting to coherently warn Keith, but the simple intimacy instantly brought Lance to the edge. Jesus, all his friends could’ve been dead in that exact moment.

Lance came, releasing warm, gooey liquid into Keith’s mouth, who kindly pulled his shirt off the ground and spit into it. For the twenty eighth time that night Lance wondered what the hell this boy was doing with his life. Keith quickly turned his attention back to his lover.

All Lance could do was stare blankly at the boy, all flushed cheeks and bare skin and open pants and oh wow, he was still hard. Hm. Lance looked back up to his eyes, which were searching and insistent.

Lance rose to his knees, dropping his hands to the floor and crawling the short distance left between them. He wasn’t quite sure what to do from here, but he hoped he looked sexy. 

Once Keith was within grabbing range, Lance gripped his chin and pulled him down into a kiss. He sat back onto his knees and used his other hand to run his fingertips along Keith’s dick.

In one swift motion, Lance wrapped his hand around Keith’s cock and began to slowly twist his wrist. Keith moaned into the kiss, taking a quick breather but returning his mouth with a vengeance. Time felt long and slow but also hot and heavy while Lance balanced a cock in his hands and Keith’s tongue in his mouth.

“Oh my god,” Keith whispered, breathlessly muttering between kisses. “Lance, I—“

“I’ve got you,” Lance whispered back. “Go ahead, baby, come on.” Keith shuddered and came into Lance’s palm.

For a minute the two boys cradled each other, but then Lance ruined the intimacy by grabbing Keith’s discarded shirt and wiping the jizz on it. He shrugged at the scandalized look the Black Paladin gave him.

“You’re the worst,” Keith muttered, already lying down to sleep.

“No,” Lance yawned, “you are.” He curled up behind Keith, nestling his head on Keith’s neck.

“Shut up,” were the final words spoken before both boys began to doze off. If they both rolled over fifteen minutes later so Lance could be the little spoon, well, that was their business.

—

Lance woke up the next morning sore in the ass and the brain. He immediately remembered the events of last night, but couldn’t quite figure out why they happened. It felt like he was failing his English class all over again. No, I don’t understand the goddamn significance, Mr. Teacherman. Tell me, what was the character’s motivation?

Seriously though, what was Keith’s motivation? Why the hell did he sleep with Lance? That was kind of, uh, not fake boyfriend material. It made no sense! None! At all! Lance must’ve lied in bed for an hour just thinking through the whole mess, too perplexed by Keith’s bullshittery to even fully wake up.

It was driving him crazy. He needed answers, so he rolled over and took only a second to admire the actual fucking angel asleep next to him before smacking Keith on the cheek.

“Psst,” he whispered, voice still rough and low with sleep, “Keith! Why’d you sleep with me?”

“Huh?” Keith muttered back, eyes just barely squinted open. What a cute, confusing bastard.

“I said,” Lance repeated, raising his voice slightly, “why’d you sleep with me?”

“Uh,” Keith trailed off, like he really was trying to hold a thought but also it was the morning so really the thought was not willing to be held, “because that’s what boyfriends do?” It sounded like a question in his half-whispered mutter. How did even his stuidly boyish morning voice make Lance feel ridiculously small but in a safe way?

“Yeah, it’s what boyfriends do,” Lance stressed. Keith hummed and began to nod off again. “But, Keith, man, there’s no one here.”

“Yeah? Lance, why would anyone else be here?”

Because that’s the only reason we’re supposed to be boyfriends and cuddling and shit? What the fuck, man? How lost are you? The words were waiting at the tip of Lance’s tongue but they never made it out into the daylight. Why? Oh, well, perhaps because at that exact moment a little niggling of a thought brushed the corner of Lance’s mind.

He thought about it. Pondered the likelihood, weighed the circumstance, considered exact moments and which words precisely—

Holy shit.

“Holy shit!”

“Lance, what is it?” Keith was such a patient man, putting up with his boyfriend’s nonsense even though he very clearly just wanted to fucking sleep and not deal with whatever epiphany Lance was having at far too early in the morning. Keith was also a patient man, though, because he’d just been dating someone for months who had not realized that they were in a relationship.

A real relationship.

No quotation marks.

That… made a lot of sense. Or did it? Lance wasn’t sure. But Keith had been so nice to Lance since they started their act together. And, like, he smiled at him gently and let Lance touch him and of course Keith wouldn’t push Lance to do anything when the two were all alone because stupid McMulletass was too socially awkward to even initiate a conversation much less a makeout session and holy shit.

Just holy shit.

Thinking back to the day when they first agreed to fake a relationship, did Lance even specify it was fake? Probably not. For once, Lance assumed Keith was on the same page but he should’ve known that even if the page number matched up they were reading entirely different books and nothing was ever simple enough. Of course Keith thought it was real.

The entire time Keith thought it was real.

Every single touch, every smile, every kiss.

It was all real to Keith. Which meant it was always real. Lance turned warm, smiling so hard he couldn’t even control his damn face, which was kind of weird but a good feeling. It was the best feeling.

“Keith,” Lance whispered.

“Yes?”

“You’re a fucking great boyfriend.” Now Keith looked wide awake. It made Lance feel bad that a compliment woke the boy up so much. Well, now that he knew they were dating, Lance wouldn’t let the little emo shit go a single minute without a compliment.

“Oh,” he stuttered. “Um, thanks.” Keith blinked back at Lance for a minute before smiling shyly, letting the pure happiness overtake his face. “You too.”

No, he really fucking wasn’t, but that’s okay. Lance didn’t care how shitty of a boyfriend he was because god damn it, at least he was a real, un-quotation-marked boyfriend who could hold the real Keith Kogane in his arms as they fall back asleep together every damn, real ass morning.

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is in-amorem-cadete if u wanna say hi :)
> 
> don't forget to like comment and subscribe down below!!1!1!1!1


End file.
